I love my camera. I love to haul it out and take pictures. I wish I could afford photoshop so I could play around with them. But alas.. broke, and without enough photography knowledge to spend the money.
I mean seriously.. Look at this.. Those truffles changed my life. They are soooo good. But what can I do with them besides mail them around the United States to various friends and friends of friends and have them tell me they are amazing. So what big freaking deal. It's not like I can do anything else with it except eat them myself and continue to gain weight. My ass, stomach, and thighs REALLY don't thank me.
I feel useless. I seriously seriously feel useless. I think about opening my own shop all of the time. I have the Name, the tagline, the ideas run through my head constantly of all of the things I really want to do with it. But within minutes I'm doubting myself. I can't do it. I'm crazy to even think that I can. What I need is a swift kick to my saddle bags and a couple million in tax free dollars so that I can just do it. Just do it and see what happens. But... Always with the Buts.
But.. I guess. Well I feel like a failure. I barely finished high school, I never got the chance to go to college. I had to raise a baby on my own from 17 on up, and I did it. And I love that I did it. Just...
Is that all I am?
Is that all I'll ever be?
2 comments:
Oh babes. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.
Me too. What Nicole said.
And I'm thinking business loan. And I know you'll go, I won't qualify, yada yada, but you don't KNOW that until you try.
And I think it's time to try, Mel, without doubting and saying you can't. It's time.
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